Hey Disney execs, you should check this story out. It says that at least one species of dinosaur habitually devoured its own kind. So they're not as cute and cuddly as that nauseating cartoon you recently inflicted upon us made them out to be.

My guess is that all dinos were so viciously cannibalistic they would have killed themselves off even if that comet hadn't hit the Yucatan Peninsula all them eons ago.

Dumb fucken lizards.

Gawd. Derek Sapphire is arcing up again -- this time about censorship. He reminds me of many bilious bolshie blowhards I've met in Artsville over the years. To them freedom of speech is the right to shout other people down.

Here's a bit of a cack. To get around anti-smoking laws, a restaurant in Noo Yawk is keeping the nicotine addicts happy by cooking meals with tobacco. It's not entirely original, since people have been eating hash cookies for yonks. A clever idea, but.

Will smack sandwiches be next?

Madonna balks at airing her explosive, Dubya-destroying fillum clip. Why?

"It was filmed before the war started, and I do not believe it is appropriate to air it at this time. Due to the volatile state of the world and out of sensitivity and respect to the armed forces, who I support and pray for, I do not want to risk offending anyone who might misinterpret the meaning of this video."

Bullshit, bimbo. You wussed out because you saw what happened to the Dixie Chicks, whose anti-war stance severely eroded their popularity and earning power.

Posturing pinko David Marr has been cranking out the corporate conspiracy line again. At some plonk-sodden toss-fest "Marr suggested that political and business 'elites' had inverted that term and directed it towards mostly poor and marginal artists. In response, literary novelists had retreated from the sharp edge of public debate."

What garbage. Arty wankers continue to squitter up a storm, dutifully squawking in crock-step with paranoid sushi-Stalinists like Marr. If some have grown silent it's probably because they've finally pulled their heads out of their arses and are actually contemplating things for a change.

The whole irony of being in Artsville is that you remain poor and marginal if you don't obey the lumpen squitterati, not if you do. (Even then you never become filthy rich, of course. Bureaucrats still nick most of the money. You do get slung a few bucks and a lump of stale gouda every now and then, but.)

This is way out of date for the blogosphere, but I just wanted to say a couple of things about the Oscars the other night: You've got to wonder about a bash that gives a fillum of pure fantasy (Bowling For Columbine) the best doco award and gives best actress honours to the insipid Nicole Kidman. Hell, the only convincing element of her performance was her friggin' nose, which was fake.

How prosthetic!

John J Ray deftly describes another good reason for invading Iraq:

"Simple: Once both Saddam and the Taliban are gone other Muslim leaders will get the message loud and clear that they must co-operate in the fight against terror or else. Simple and rational and highly desirable.

"If it was about oil why did the US intervene in Kosovo? No oil there. They intervened there for purely humanitarian reasons. If it was about oil they would have taken over Saudi Arabia. It produces more oil, has an army of only about 7,000 men and could be taken over in an afternoon. Which is why the Saudis try to be friendly of course."

And I'm sure there'll be other states who will be a lot more friendly when the war in Iraq is over.

If Whacko Jacko and Lisa Marie Presley weren't so damn super-famous, they would surely have ended up on Jerry Springer.

Here's Michael Moore on his anti-Bush rant at the Quackademy Awards: "I just hope I generated a discussion about Mr. Bush and the war."

What, like there hadn't been one already up to that point?

Solipsistic turd.

After recently discovering that Saddam has more than one female bio-terrorism expert, I suspected that the dashing dictator might have still others in his employ. And yes, I found out that as well as Dr Germ and Mrs Anthrax, there's also Sister Salmonella, Ms Malaria, Lady Legionella and Princess Plague.

Now that's what I call a-germ-ative action!

After over a month's inactivity my arch nemesis Derek Sapphire has resumed blogging again. God help us!

I'm not a journo or anything, but I think I've just stumbled on an editorial balls-up at the SMH. See, in this story about a video of one of Hussein's creepy meetings, the headline reads: "Saddam's 'Dr Germ' seen at meeting, says US".

As the story states, Dr Germ is Rihab Rashida Taha. Yet the chick in the vid is identified as Huda Salih Mahdi Ammash. Now her nickname is not "Dr Germ", it's actually "Mrs Anthrax".

They've got their Baath Party bio-terror babes all arse-about! So, either the army PR guys have made an error in attributing nicknames, and the SMH has just repeated it, or the editor has confused the two women. Either way it's pretty shoddy work. Also really sexist, since I doubt the SMH -- a renowned bastion of political correctness -- would make a similar mistake about men.

Jeez, it makes me so angry! When are women gonna be treated equally by the Western media? I mean, Saddam wouldn't make such a mistake now would he?

Sick to their stomachs from holding "vomit-ins", American appeaseniks are now holding "die-ins" where they all lob in a group and symbolically cark it. Jeez, wouldn't it be nice if they'd do it for real...

One down, several million to go.

Dr Helen Caldecott is a pacifist and a feminist. In other words she's at war with men. (Men who never fight back, of course; men who would die to protect her.)

What a nasty little half-person she is. No wonder so many women have deserted her movement.

Here's a punchy article by Debbie Schlussel slamming the fictionality of Michael Moore's Oscar-winning Bowling for Columbine.

She pithily describes Moore: "A fictitious man living in a fictitious time. With a fictitious, Academy Award winning 'documentary.' As Brian Rohrbough, whose son Daniel died at Columbine, said, 'This is just a guy trying to capitalize on the tragedy of others.'"

That last line really nails him. He's capital-izing alright. As a result of his surreal, mean-spirited fantasy the sly slob is rolling in it!

Yet his boneheaded acolytes still can't spot the irony. Many were heartened by his victory at the Oscars. Surely, as enemies of corporate greed and cultural imperialism (which are the very foundations of Hollywood) you'd expect them to be disgusted, or at least disillusioned by it. I mean, the award's a gleaming golden bloke ferfucksake. That alone should have rung some alarm bells!

But nope, the tragic tossers were utterly bedazzled -- unlike the mainstream working stiffs ("corporate dupes") who avoided the show in their millions to keep up to date with events in Iraq.

Yep, colour and movement (and money). Hooks the pinkos every time.

Tammy Bruce has a great new label to describe the posturing flashbulb addicts of Tinseltown. She calls them "malignant narcissists". I reckon it's spot on.

James Morrow refers to some shockin' media bias in its war reporting. One of the ITN newsreaders apparently used the phrase "appallingly heavy bombing". While watching the ABC a night or two ago, I saw one of their bolshie Barbie doll anchors use the phrase "US propaganda machine".

No one with one eye half open and an IQ over fifty is gonna say that the army PR guys are entirely honest all the time. But "propaganda machine"? Gawd. Emotive or what?

Surreal simpleton Senator Andrew Bartlett doesn't like the idea of liberating Iraq, because "Australia is now diplomatically and militarily handcuffed to the United States. We will be unavoidably now part of Mr Bush's new world order."

Yeah, a world order that involves the removal of children-gassing, women-raping, dissenter-shredding brutes. Sounds like a damn fine thing to me.

Like most fluffs Fartlett has an extremely selective moral code and despises Western values. Yet he's a "Democrat"? Gawd. That's like saying Ted Bundy's a friggin' feminist!

(Er... actually that was probably a bad analogy. Some feminists were actually pleased as punch with the slick lady killer because he blamed smut for his murder spree.)

I'll try again: Yet he's a "Democrat"? That's like saying Phillip Adams is an intellectual.

Ah, that's better.

But back to Fartlett. Not only does he ignore man's inumanity to man when it suits, but he's more upset about man's inhumanity to ham. Some Republicans may be chicken hawks, but Fartlett's a chicken chook. His whole philosophy can be described thus: "If in doubt, pullet!" Have a look here and you'll see how fowl his reasoning is.

The interview is a real quack-up. It includes a classic photo of him dolled up with a hen (probably his significant other). Susan Sarandon's conservative mother (last post) says she has to tread on eggshells around her daughter. But if she ever lobbed at the Fartlett household, she'd have do that literally as well!

What a silly cock-head he is.

Gawd! Lenora Tomalin, mother of uber-squit Susan Sarandon, is actually pro-Bush! Perhaps there's some serious Freudian shit going on there underneath Sarandon's regally oblivious exterior? Would be nice to think so. But I doubt it. I don't think she possesses a subconscious. Years of living in Tinseltown with other sanctimonious, over-rewarded egomaniacs would have removed any psychological complexity she may once have possessed.

Tomalin describes the discomfort of visiting her daughter's house. She says she has to "tread on eggshells". I know the feeling. Whenever I'm around fluffs I'm forever biting my tongue (sometimes to stop myself from laughing at their arse-about reasoning and/or ignorance, but usually because they're already spitting foam over some petty point or other and I don't want to rile them even more with dissent). This cracks me up, since conservatives are so often portrayed as unreasonable and overbearing!